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Post by NAS on Jun 21, 2016 21:22:30 GMT
Book, the shit shark story busted me up laughing.
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Post by bookboy007 on Jun 21, 2016 21:29:30 GMT
I would like it to be known that I am reading this while growing a tail. Thank you. This is your fault, kel.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2016 22:58:54 GMT
I am not clicking on that. Hell, you've gone this far. And I highly recommend the squatty potty, although you can make your own at home. I'm sure there are enough copies of John Updike novels you could use to stack up under each foot. Seriously, especially for us older guys. My hemorrhoids have pretty much gone away since starting to use them. Also you shit "more completely" using them. That last little shrimp that is reluctant to leave pops out much more easily. "Rabbit at Restroom"
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Post by RichHillOntario on Jun 23, 2016 0:53:15 GMT
Got a joke. On day a grade two teacher announces to her class they were going to learn some words in their vocabulary period. She tells the kids first the word they were going to learn was the word "definitely." She asks if any one of the students can use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Jenny raises her hand and says "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher tells her the sentence was good but that the sky can also be dark grey just before a storm.
The teacher then asks if anyone else in the class can use "definitely" in a sentence. Young Billy raises his hand and says "The grass is definitely green." The teacher praises him for his sentence but informs him grass can also be yellow or brown, specifically when it needs to be watered. Suddenly little Bobby urgently raises his hand and asks his teacher if farts can be lumpy. The teacher is partly puzzled and partially annoyed at the question and answers "No." So little Bobby says "Then I definitely shit my pants."
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Post by badhabitude on Jun 23, 2016 1:47:12 GMT
Got a joke. On day a grade two teacher announces to her class they were going to learn some words in their vocabulary period. She tells the kids first the word they were going to learn was the word "definitely." She asks if any one of the students can use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Jenny raises her hand and says "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher tells her the sentence was good but that the sky can also be dark grey just before a storm. The teacher then asks if anyone else in the class can use "definitely" in a sentence. Young Billy raises his hand and says "The grass is definitely green." The teacher praises him for his sentence but informs him grass can also be yellow or brown, specifically when it needs to be watered. Suddenly little Bobby urgently raises his hand and asks his teacher if farts can be lumpy. The teacher is partly puzzled and partially annoyed at the question and answers "No." So little Bobby says "Then I definitely shit my pants." My wife says you guys are definitely disgusting.
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Post by RichHillOntario on Jun 23, 2016 2:55:09 GMT
Got a joke. On day a grade two teacher announces to her class they were going to learn some words in their vocabulary period. She tells the kids first the word they were going to learn was the word "definitely." She asks if any one of the students can use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Jenny raises her hand and says "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher tells her the sentence was good but that the sky can also be dark grey just before a storm. The teacher then asks if anyone else in the class can use "definitely" in a sentence. Young Billy raises his hand and says "The grass is definitely green." The teacher praises him for his sentence but informs him grass can also be yellow or brown, specifically when it needs to be watered. Suddenly little Bobby urgently raises his hand and asks his teacher if farts can be lumpy. The teacher is partly puzzled and partially annoyed at the question and answers "No." So little Bobby says "Then I definitely shit my pants." My wife says you guys are definitely disgusting.Come on, BH. Kick in when she's not looking but blame a marco.
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Post by kelvana33 on Jun 23, 2016 4:46:25 GMT
Got a joke. On day a grade two teacher announces to her class they were going to learn some words in their vocabulary period. She tells the kids first the word they were going to learn was the word "definitely." She asks if any one of the students can use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Jenny raises her hand and says "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher tells her the sentence was good but that the sky can also be dark grey just before a storm. The teacher then asks if anyone else in the class can use "definitely" in a sentence. Young Billy raises his hand and says "The grass is definitely green." The teacher praises him for his sentence but informs him grass can also be yellow or brown, specifically when it needs to be watered. Suddenly little Bobby urgently raises his hand and asks his teacher if farts can be lumpy. The teacher is partly puzzled and partially annoyed at the question and answers "No." So little Bobby says "Then I definitely shit my pants." My wife says you guys are definitely disgusting. Does she realize she married a guy who shits in parking lots and carries two soda cans around with him as tools to help him shit?
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Post by badhabitude on Jun 23, 2016 19:27:41 GMT
My wife says you guys are definitely disgusting. Does she realize she married a guy who shits in parking lots and carries two soda cans around with him as tools to help him shit? Ya know how batman had his arch enemies? Well, I think I'm going to become your arch enemy and start taking dumps in parking lots along your beat. I will taunt you and the other cops will disposable cell phone snaps of my latest public littering. I'll be known as the phantom shitter. Catch me if you can. My DNA is not in the system.
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Post by goodnewsbears on Jun 23, 2016 22:48:52 GMT
I think I'm going to take a dump BadHab style with the footstool. We have a footstool in one our bathrooms so my little nephew (pictured running with me in my avatar) can reach the sink to wash his hands when he comes over. Since the footstool is already there, I might as well try it and see if I can enhance my shitting experience. It will have to wait until this weekend because I usually shit at work during the week. I like to get paid to take a dump.
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Post by bookboy007 on Jun 23, 2016 23:42:25 GMT
I think I'm going to take a dump BadHab style with the footstool. We have a footstool in one our bathrooms so my little nephew (pictured running with me in my avatar) can reach the sink to wash his hands when he comes over. Since the footstool is already there, I might as well try it and see if I can enhance my shitting experience. It will have to wait until this weekend because I usually shit at work during the week. I like to get paid to take a dump. Alright, again...why do I need to know this?
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Post by 50belowzero on Jun 23, 2016 23:43:40 GMT
Best. Thread. Ever.
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Post by badhabitude on Jun 24, 2016 1:34:18 GMT
I think I'm going to take a dump BadHab style with the footstool. We have a footstool in one our bathrooms so my little nephew (pictured running with me in my avatar) can reach the sink to wash his hands when he comes over. Since the footstool is already there, I might as well try it and see if I can enhance my shitting experience. It will have to wait until this weekend because I usually shit at work during the week. I like to get paid to take a dump. Alright, again...why do I need to know this? Because inquiring minds want to know!
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Post by badhabitude on Jun 24, 2016 1:38:21 GMT
I think I'm going to take a dump BadHab style with the footstool. We have a footstool in one our bathrooms so my little nephew (pictured running with me in my avatar) can reach the sink to wash his hands when he comes over. Since the footstool is already there, I might as well try it and see if I can enhance my shitting experience. It will have to wait until this weekend because I usually shit at work during the week. I like to get paid to take a dump. It's better with 2 footstools so your feet can be wide apart. I have a giant glass of non sweetened metamucil every night before bad. Next morning after about 2 sips of coffee I feel quite the urgency, it makes for an exciting start to the day.
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Post by badhabitude on Jun 24, 2016 1:47:11 GMT
In a political move similar to what the Democrats are doing to force gun legislation in Congress, I will sit on this thread until legislation outlaws that Rask thread. No shit.
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Post by goodnewsbears on Jun 24, 2016 8:37:26 GMT
I think I'm going to take a dump BadHab style with the footstool. We have a footstool in one our bathrooms so my little nephew (pictured running with me in my avatar) can reach the sink to wash his hands when he comes over. Since the footstool is already there, I might as well try it and see if I can enhance my shitting experience. It will have to wait until this weekend because I usually shit at work during the week. I like to get paid to take a dump. It's better with 2 footstools so your feet can be wide apart. I have a giant glass of non sweetened metamucil every night before bad. Next morning after about 2 sips of coffee I feel quite the urgency, it makes for an exciting start to the day. You should write a book. Chapter 2 could be about pissing. The public needs to know what makes the BadHab the BadHab. What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night with a huge boner and you really need to pee? My guess is it involves a funnel, about 3 feet of hose, 2 cans of Coke and a pizza box.
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Post by badhabitude on Jun 24, 2016 9:14:29 GMT
It's better with 2 footstools so your feet can be wide apart. I have a giant glass of non sweetened metamucil every night before bad. Next morning after about 2 sips of coffee I feel quite the urgency, it makes for an exciting start to the day. You should write a book. Chapter 2 could be about pissing. The public needs to know what makes the BadHab the BadHab. What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night with a huge boner and you really need to pee? My guess is it involves a funnel, about 3 feet of hose, 2 cans of Coke and a pizza box. I go the standard route of leaning forward with one hand on the wall and one hand on the fire hose.
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Post by badhabitude on Jun 24, 2016 15:21:57 GMT
I am going to print out the entire Rask thread on soft paper and wipe my ass with it next time I take a gigantic shit.
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Post by NAS on Jun 24, 2016 15:24:02 GMT
I am going to print out the entire Rask thread on soft paper and wipe my ass with it next time I take a gigantic shit. Okay okay okay Move along.
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Post by kelvana33 on Jun 24, 2016 15:52:50 GMT
I just gave birth to a python!
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Post by UtahGetMeTwo on Jun 24, 2016 15:54:19 GMT
I just gave birth to a python! Stalactite and a wrapper ?
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Post by 50belowzero on Jun 24, 2016 15:59:18 GMT
I just gave birth to a python! I originally thought you had written pylon, which come to think of it would have been equally as impressive!
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Post by bookboy007 on Jun 25, 2016 23:51:27 GMT
I am seriously thinking about leaving the board. Jeeeeezuz.
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Post by goodnewsbears on Jun 26, 2016 12:02:13 GMT
Here's my official review of the BadHab's squatting to take a dump theory. WTF. Dude, how long have you been doing this? It sucks. I think you've been doing this so long that you've forgotten how good it feels to take a dump with both feet on the ground.
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Post by bookboy007 on Jun 27, 2016 4:16:54 GMT
Greaat. Shit reviews.
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Post by RichHillOntario on Jul 1, 2016 4:08:05 GMT
A guy dies and goes to Hell. The devil says "Alright, listen. You have a choice. You can pick one of two eternal torture rooms." The guy demands to see the rooms first and the devil agrees to show him. In the first room, there are billions of screaming people, soaked in their own internal organs, slowly being hacked to pieces by maggots brandishing little hacksaws.
In the second room, there are billions of people standing neck deep in diarrhea, drinking tea. The guy says "Hey! This is not so bad! I'll take this room!" and the devil sends him in to spend the rest of his days. Just as he gets into the diarrhea and is about to sip his tea, there is a P.A. announcement: "Okay! Break time's over! Now, get back to your handstands!"
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